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Archive for the ‘Art?’ Category

Chalkboard drawing: “Sleep or Socialize?”

08 Jan

Sleep or SocializeAt the end of the week, it’s hard to decide between spending time with friends and getting some much-needed rest. The result: perpetual dreams of greener pastures on the road not taken.

 
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Chalkboard drawing: “Haircut Bills”

02 Dec

Haircut BillsApparently the wife was thinking about haircuts and bills, both of which are sometimes expensive. My solution solved both problems.

 
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Chalkboard drawing: “Dishwasher Running”

01 Nov

Dishwasher RunningOur dishwasher refuses to turn off when the washing cycle ends. Left to its own devices, it will keep humming and heating, wasting energy until someone turns the dial all the way to “off.” The wife was wise to leave a reminder for me when she started the dishwasher one recent morning, and I couldn’t resist the obvious joke.

 
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Chalkboard drawing: “Deploy the traps”

21 Oct

Deploy the trapsThe wife was talking about mouse poop, and we did indeed catch a mouse immediately when I deployed our winter array of mouse traps (not surprisingly, the mice want to come in when it gets cold). Of course, I had to draw a picture first.

 
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Halloween decorations should be creepy (and cheap)

18 Oct

Store displayHalloween is my favorite holiday (after the ones with presents and the ones where I get to eat cake all day). Judging from the cutesy, neutered Halloween decorations I’ve seen, it appears that America wants to forget that Halloween is supposed to be scary. If an October passes without me fearing for my life during a horror flick or at least worrying about skeletal hands creeping out from beneath the couch, then the year gets chalked up as a personal failure. (watching The Orphanage guaranteed that I would succeed this year). Thankfully, the wife and I have a deal: in October, we watch horror movies; in February, we watch romance movies.

October is also when I get to break out the Halloween decorations. I’ve assembled my own batch of Halloween icons over the years, and I try to add something new every year. Today, I’m going to go through some ways to bring the true, creepy spirit of Halloween into your house with minimal expense and effort. My specialties include creepy creatures in jars and horrifically-labeled bottles.
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Chalkboard drawing: “Doctor”

15 Oct

DoctorPutting off a doctor’s appointment is a time-honored art and an unmistakable sign of a curmudgeon-in-making. Yes, I finally made an appointment, but I am proud that I wasted as much time as possible first.

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Chalkboard drawing: “Groundskeeper”

04 Oct

GroundskeeperSomeone drew the lone flower (on the left) when I had some friends over for the evening. It was too sweet and simple to last for long. This fellow emerged to solve the problem.

Answers to unspoken questions:

1) Yes, expect chalkboard drawings to become a semi-regular feature.

2) Yes, you will see more directions soon, too. Good projects take some time to finish!

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Chalkboard drawing: “Reservations”

30 Sep

ReservationsIt didn’t take long for this reminder to make dinner reservations to turn into unkind social commentary. Enjoy the mid-week palate cleanser.

Context: I’m a fan of having a “landing strip” near the front door for storing keys, wallet, mail, and similar things that people need to grab before leaving the house. I recommend Ikea’s LUNS chalkboard/magnetboard as a great, cost-effective option. Besides hooks for keys and a storage space for everything else, it also provides a place to leave messages, shopping lists, or anything else that you can hang up with a magnet or draw with chalk. In my house, the chalkboard oscillates between simple reminders and a venue for the macabre. It’s like Pictionary (or “Eat Poo, You Cat”) based on a to-do list.

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Friendly oven mitts

30 Aug

Happy oven mittsMost oven mitts are either utilitarian (functional but undecorated) or are decorated in some bizarre country farmhouse motif. I took plain oven mitts and made the kitchen a little friendlier by giving them an easy makeover with buttons for eyes. If you’ve ever made a sock puppet, you should be smacking yourself for not having thought of this one.

A cutesy, childish craft? Of course. Effective in producing smiles and chuckles from folk of all ages? You bet. Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Art collages inspired by record albums

27 Jul

Six collages on floorIn America, we can judge you based on the walls of your home. Blank walls say, “I’m a boring bowl of cornflakes.” Conversely, a picture of  a bowl of cornflakes may say, “I watched too much Monty Python as a child.”

Stores everywhere (Michaels, Jo-Ann, or even Target) sell frames for record albums, which you can get for as little as $5 if you wait for a sale. These are marketed under the assumption that being able to listen to your albums is less important than having your walls say, “I like music!” If you choose obscure albums that no one likes or even recognizes, your walls can also say, “I am more cultured and knowledgeable than you! Bow before my elite taste!”

I love music, but I’d rather be able to listen to my records, so I make collages based on my favorite record covers to hang up instead. From a distance, they look almost exactly like the actual albums, but they have a personal, handcrafted feel. I make them at full scale using the actual record cover as a model; you can do the same using cover art from the web. It may help to have a printed version at the same size as your intended collage (record covers are 12″ x 12″) so you can tell how large to make each part of the image. All you need is a bunch of collage materials (magazines and cloth work well), glue sticks, scissors, and patience. The more materials you have, the easier it is to find colors, textures, and shapes that match the record cover you’re imitating. Read the rest of this entry »